Can I Afford to Publish my Book?

The working title of my book is “Why Piano Now?: How it Hurts, and How it Heals.” Loosely based on my dissertation, “To See Music in Your Mind’s Eye: The Genesis of Memorization as a Piano Performance Practice” (2017), the book sheds light on some of the dark side of the history of Western classical music, such as misogyny, racism, authoritarianism, and anti-intellectualism. By facing these problematic history, the book proposes to make our future practice, pedagogy and industry healthier, happier and more humane, restoring music’s innate capacity to heal, and to unite, people. I have 200+ pages written. A reputable editor has told me that my book is viable, that it will likely find a publishing deal – something I did not expect to hear from my first professional reading. A pleasant surprise. However, now I am presented with another problem – a financial one.

I knew the publishing industry was shrinking. I did not know how much writers shoulder the cost of publishing these days. Editors, who used to work for major publishing companies, are now freelancing. Many writers hire editors before they bring their manuscripts to the agents, who then negotiate a publishing deal with the publishers. Finding out that many of the reputable editors charge a higher hourly rate than what I sometimes receive for a performance has been daunting. And an hour of performing does NOT equal an hour of work – the day of a concert starts with a warm up in the morning, getting to the venue an hour+ before to get used to the piano/room/acoustics, and socializing with the audience and presenters afterwards. The four+ hours are in addition to hours of daily practice for weeks leading up to the performance, not to mention the administrative work. We have lunch with the presenters. We go to the venue before the day of the concert to check out the venue, the acoustics, the piano, and talk to the sponsors. And there are the countless number of emails, from negotiating the fees to things regarding administrative and logistical matters; publicity, program details, etc. It is often a struggle to reserve the time for my daily practice and writing.

“Why don’t you hire an agent?” people sometimes ask. These people do not realize that agents typically charge a monthly retainer for no guarantee of bookings. And for each of their booking, they charge for everything they do by the hour, and all expenses are on you for publicity, travels, etc. One can end up being in the red by your profession with an agent. To add insult to injury, because the market is not in our favor, there is the power dynamic that can lead to problems like harassment often by these very agents. However, not having representation means that I have a harder time getting booked at major venues. I play for schools, hospitals, community centers, public libraries, and non-profit organizations who has small budgets as presenters. I play at salons, museums, galleries, and even home concerts, where my payment for the performance often depends on the number of tickets they sell. Too often, I only find out how much I get paid when they give me the check after the concert.

I have been practicing the piano since the age of two and a half, taking lessons since three, and getting paid to perform in public since sixteen. I have a doctorate in piano performance. I perform internationally, and have recorded six solo albums, and several collaborative albums including one that was recognized by 2020 “Producer of the Year” Grammy. Still, I struggle to keep my career financially sustainable.

The struggle is not mine alone. The decline of church and states’ socioeconomic power in the late eighteenth century meant the end of their systematic patronage of arts and music. Since then, performers rarely made a sustainable living by performing. Public concerts were often forms of advertisement for them to earn a sustainable income by teaching, endorsing and selling instruments and musical publications, and/or having private patronage. William Weber’s Musicians as Entrepreneurs 1700-1914 chronicles this historical shift. The book also demonstrates how much harder it has always been for the marginalized population, like women and ethnic minorities, within this system that is already impossible. But individual struggles are simply a reflection of the whole economic system that struggles to value ephemeral music, and its intangible beauty that benefits our well-being. Today, major orchestras depend on corporate and private sponsorship for their survival. None of them can survive on ticket sales alone. And the Romantic notion that the artists must starve and suffer does not help. That we are supposed to be beyond worldly concerns like money and food, send a message to the consumers that all of this is somehow OK.

I don’t get paid to practice or write every day, but I do. I have done so since my earliest memories and continue. I have an urge to make and share my music and my thoughts. It’s an undeniable drive that gives me insights and sensations I may otherwise never have. They are too good not to share. Pleasure grows by sharing. There are many musicians and writers, who are willing to pay to be heard and read. So, for me to sustain a career as a pianist is already a miracle I should celebrate, however meager my income. But I’ve decided back in 2006 that I could no longer afford a manager – for my financial, as well as emotional, well-being. Now, can I now afford to publish my book, where I discuss all of this, and more?

The problem I see with the current system of publishing is the lack of equality in representations, if those with funding can more easily publish. I am qualified and educated. I feel privileged to have had the opportunity and resource to conduct the research that led me to my unique perspective. I wish for my assertions to ultimately help musicians and the music industry, expanding the market, making our art and practice more socially relevant. But how can I deliver what I have to say, without sacrificing my personal integrity and bank account?

If you would like to read my book, or think that I deserve financial support for the work i do as a musician and writer, please do consider joining my journey through my Patreon campaign.