Suffering is Good for you…Really?

This is the English translation of my Japanese article to appear in Nikkan San on Feb 20, 2022, as a part of my bi-weekly column, “The Way of the Pianist.”

When I bring back pieces from years ago, I am often amazed at how hard I was working. I used to challenge every possible difficulties head on, just by sheer will power, willing to toil many hours. Then, when I look at the score, I realize how it could have been an easy, or at least manageable passage or a piece, with a little creativity in fingering, correction in my posture, or score analysis.

There is an old and common saying in Japanese. It literally translates as “Youth should suffer, even if you have to purchase that suffering.” It means that when you are young, you should seek adversities, because they can teach you valuable lessons.

That concept is useful in two ways.

One is that it casts positive lights on inevitable adversities. For example, past sufferings are inescapable no matter how resentful you feel about them. I toiled and suffered unnecessarily, pent up in practice rooms single-mindedly focused on mastering a technical passage – but it gave me the endurance to focus on solving a seemingly-impossible challenges hours on end! It gave me the time to contemplate on what music meant to me, ensuring my devotion to music! There are other types of suffering that one has no control over. Suppose that I am diagnosed with a condition that would make me deaf eventually – I would now be able to really understand Beethoven. Like him, I can liberate myself from all the audible music and performances by not being able to hear them anymore. I could really pursue my own uniquely individual musicality, free from all inputs!

The other benefit is that, there are certain pressure that does help you grow. It’s not just muscles that need resistance and weights in order to grow. The bond you get with your colleagues after working together so hard to meet an impossible challenge. The confidence you gain by overcoming an obstacle you never thought you could. The grit that you surprised yourself with that would make almost any other challenge you can imagine easier now. The truth is, it’s more invigorating to be risk being burnt a bit than to live a life in a lukewarm environment where everything is easy.

However, being blindly caught up in the belief that you need to suffer is a trap. Seeking out suffering in order to suffer can become intoxicating and addictive. I think i played things the hard way, knowing that there were easier ways to deal with a passage, or a piece, or even life. Reaching out to help with the sufferings of others, or tapping into your curiosity can teach you more about the difference between sufferings that are narcissistic and sufferings that can teach you valuable lessons.

The goal is to learn and to evolve. To me, to be able to share the fruits of these processes is the meaning of life.